Two weeks ago I had been very frustrated with Japan. But I think this must be one of
the most profound things I have learnt about Japan and while it's
always been kind of obvious, the larger picture I now see makes other
things make sense to me now too. It sounds simple but “most
Japanese people have no idea how to talk to foreigners.” I'm aware
this is a sweeping stereotype and any Japanese person reading this is
most likely a culturally sensitive individual who has taken time to
understand not only English, but English/American culture. You see,
while they are an exceptionally kind nation, most Japanese people
don't have cultural sensitivity, for which there are many reasons:
They
are an island nation and historically have cut off from the outside
world for a long time. This also meant there willingness to
'integrate' with foreigners was almost cultural. This is slowly
changing but will take more time. This compared to Britain's
centuries of colonisation and trade gives us a massive head start in
global and cultural interaction.
There
are so few foreigners in Japan, less than 1% and I think even less
where I'm living. Compared to Britain's generations of foreign
immigrates and a population that is so diverse, we are more used to
seeing, interacting, living with and being understanding to,
foreigners of various colours, cultures and nationalities. But here
I am constantly viewed as a novelty; strange and truly alien to
everyone. Stared at in the streets and treated in a shifting scale
between celebrity and circus freak. This leads to great excitement
at first, but soon leads to great frustration as I just wanted to be
treated normally. Some people are truly afraid of me, or in some
case they think I'll be afraid of them; which is also why I find it
hard to make new Japanese friends and practice my Japanese. Maki
spoke to our neighbour recently about that we will soon be leaving,
but reassured her that my American friend will be coming to live
there and he is a great person. Her response was “What do I do?
How do I talk to him? Can I talk to him? Won't I scare him?”
Japanese people don't seem to understand we want to know them and
talk to them. We just need some help with the language but at least
give us the chance to try!
Race
is a delicate subject, and it kills me to say it, but some Japanese
people can be quite racist. It's not meant to be hurtful, they just
don't know better. Whether its their stereotypes on colour or their
viewpoint and forces hierarchic on certain other asian nations
people. Once, in a class, I presented a flash card of a cartoon of a
black girl running. The students choral response was “Monkey!”
I was shocked. I know they were young, but not that young. I froze
for a moment, unable to know what to do with this situation. I knew
enough about Japan to know my explaining of this error would not be
understood, but my moral compass felt unable to not correct this most
grave of insults.
Japanese
people sometimes struggle to talk to Japanese people, let along
foreigners. The social construct of Japan doesn't lend to a relaxed
atmosphere for freedom to converse as some might want. They tend not
to live in shared houses and prefer to live with parents, alone or
with a partner. As I've experienced, even if I am part of a group,
like my teaching staff or sports club, trying to isolate someone out
of that group to meet for a drink/meal for some personal interaction
is almost impossible.
But
mostly surprisingly to me, Japanese culture is constructed in such
away to makes most Japanese people inherently culturally ignorant.
Its not with malice but their inability to discuss or debate, and
their extreme cultural differences that make them unable to
understand me. There is a great willingness to help and welcome me,
but when it comes to listening to my view points and thoughts on
life, right and wrong and all things that make my culture; Japanese
people seem to closed to hear or listen. They don't debate
differences and see any difference as a conflict. “The nail that
sticks out gets hammered down” comes into play here again, as they
must conform to a Japanese way of thinking on all topics. Freedom of
creativity can make you a social outcast. As a foreigner, I may not
be always expected to understand or conform in the same way, but
sometimes I must. And the problem is, if there is a conflict of
interests, its impossible to explain why or even attempt to resolve a
situation as they don't know how to discuss or debate.
The
other day at a basketball tournament, I was playing against a very
good team, but the player I was marking held my arm preventing me
from moving. As we ran back I tried in my best Japanese to explain
that this was a foul and not good. He laughed. What I didn't know
at the time is that Japanese people laugh and smile when they feel
uncomfortable. I took his laughter to be extremely insulting. So
tried to correct him that this wasn't a laughing matter which
escalated the situation. My team mates told me that I was in the
wrong for being 'aggressive', not seeing the previous altercation and
my reasoning. The problem is not that I didn't know, but I was
unable to educate anyone that I had realised this was a simple
misunderstanding. With most other cultures, you can explain your
point of view and where the confusion was, or have even found out it
was a misunderstanding early with a simple conversation. But their
lack of ability to discuss and debate meant I was unable to get them
to understand this was a misunderstanding. In fact, just bringing up
the subject again made the situation worse. Japanese people prefer
to ignore and pretend it didn't happen.
As a
nation that needed to be good at working in groups to survive from
when they used to be a farming nation, the success of the crop
depended on their working as a team and forgetting any problems.
This may be good for certain things, but not for resolving issues
like the above. When someone in Japan is crying, they are taught to
leave them alone. This is shocking for me as I want to help them.
As a nation taught to ignore problems and not talk about feelings or
issues, its no wonder it has the highest suicide rate in the world.
It is
this lack of a desire to understand ME and MY culture that has in the
last week caused me to become very frustrated with Japan. For the
last year I have made as much effort as I can to integrate, learn the
culture and the language and be as culturally sensitive as I can.
But this appears to be a one way street with little or no give and
take. And because of the culture, I can't even talk to them about my
frustrations. I feel a lot of tension from certain people about
leaving after one year, something of which a Japanese person wouldn't
do, purely because its just not 'teamwork' and most people stay in
the same jobs all their lives. Their inability to understand my
reasoning for leaving leaves a bitter taste that I didn't want and I
feel helpless to be able to reason or explain my thoughts, feelings,
reasons or culture.
I
would like to reiterate, those Japanese people who have made an
effort to understand or been lucky enough to travel or live abroad
are like calk and cheese compared to other Japanese people. The
Japanese people I know from London are not only extremely culturally
sensitive, but also have the best bits of being Japanese as well
(Thoughtful, kind etc etc). Its like a cultural switch has been
turned on and eyes have been opened.
But to
any Japanese person who has stubbled across this blog, please, I
implore you, tell your fellow country men and women, we are not that
scary! We come in peace and want to be your friend. Try to
understand us. Listen and consider our difference and be sympathetic
of them. And if you already are, I thank you.
And I
don't want this to taint or downgrade the MANY wonderful things about
Japan and its people. They are still one of the kindest nations I
have ever had the pleasure of meeting and they can still surprise me
with their level of consideration and kindness in so many ways.
This
is all also only my personal view point, but I also welcome any and
everyones comments and/or views on this topic.
